Outside our windows, the signs of fall are in full view, from changing leaves to cooler temperatures to shorter days. Homeschoolers have returned to the usual fall routines. For group leaders, this means a new academic year with new families and new fellow leaders.
Are you feeling excited about the diverse personalities in your group, looking forward to what you’ll accomplish together? Or are you noticing signs of conflict? You could be wondering, “Is this group going to survive the year? We’re all so different!”
Just as a tree full of multicolored leaves is something to celebrate, so is a room full of different personalities. Personality differences are essential to growing a thriving homeschool community. This brand-new year is the perfect opportunity to review your understanding of personality differences and build tolerance for people in a constructive manner.
Personalities are a passion of mine. For the past 20 years, I’ve enjoyed working with countless leaders to help them value their strengths and become aware of the strengths of other people in their groups. Through this process, they achieve a higher level of influence with the people they lead.
My favorite tool for helping leaders understand personality differences is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). You might prefer a different personality tool. In this article, I’ll write from my experience with MBTI, but the principles apply no matter what tool you’re using.
Examples of personality tools
Strengthening our leadership with personality tools
I want to share with you three ways that understanding personality differences can help us lead well.
1. Differences allow group members to contribute effectively.
For example, extroverts (like me!) excel at social and interactive tasks and enjoy opportunities for interaction. To keep the attention of an extroverted leader, try to offer them projects that involve interaction with families, multiple relationships, and free disclosure. Meanwhile, introverts can be reflective and intense, with a need for space, quiet, and a calm environment. An introvert may find greater reward in managing written communications and behind-the-scenes tasks.
2. Understanding differences helps us communicate better.
Personality tools are pathways to effective communication patterns that cater not only to our own needs, but to the needs of others. Have you ever felt like you didn’t matter simply because someone failed to offer appreciation when you most needed it? Some people seek recognition at the end of a project, when they know they’ve excelled. Others want to be appreciated during the project itself. Knowing what style of encouragement works best for individuals in your group can be a key factor in retaining team members who are delighted to contribute.
3. Understanding differences helps us get more done.
There is so much beauty in working with individuals who have opposite strengths. Let’s say some important deadlines are approaching your homeschool group. It can be useful to incorporate two types of personalities on your team: those who work in a step-by-step, planned manner, and those who are open-ended and flexible in completing tasks. Together, these differently oriented personalities will get the jobs done with creativity and excellence.
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In my leadership journey, I've come to realize the vital importance of understanding personality differences. Previously, I struggled in relationships with people I perceived as different from me. However, I've since discovered that I have more in common with these individuals than I initially thought. I've learned that conflicts often stem from a lack of clarity about preferences—how we each prefer to express our commonalities.
There's a specific instance that stands out in my memory. Another leader and I shared similar personality strengths in organizing, but we each preferred to organize at different levels of detail. Working with this leader taught me to appreciate my strengths while also recognizing and valuing the strengths of others.
One of my favorite quotes says that a strength overused could become a weakness. It's crucial to keep in mind that understanding our own and others' personalities is an explanation, not an excuse, for our actions. Let's use this understanding to build stronger, more effective relationships.
“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us,” wrote Paul in Romans 12:6. Embracing your own personality and others is a great place to begin as you launch into your new homeschool year!