Have you ever started something new and realized you had to unlearn old habits first? That’s deschooling in a nutshell! For families transitioning into homeschooling from a public school or private school, deschooling is not just helpful—it’s essential. But what does it really mean, and how do you do it? Let’s dive into this transformative process together. 

What is deschooling, anyway? 

Deschooling is the process of letting go of a traditional school mindset to redefine what education looks like for your family. It’s a pivotal phase that allows both parents and children to adjust to the freedom and flexibility of a home education model.  

In traditional schools, education often includes strict schedules, report cards, standardized testing, and a "one-size-fits-all" approach. Deschooling helps families replace these frameworks with a more personalized, flexible learning philospohy that is a natural fit for homeschooling. 

Think of deschooling as hitting the reset button. It’s a chance to ask, “What do we really want from education?” and “What does our family need to thrive?”.  

(Spoiler alert: There’s no right or wrong answer because every family is unique.) 

Signs you may need a deschooling period

Are you wondering if a deschooling period could be right for your family? Whether you’ve already made the switch to homeschooling or not, here are a few key signs that a period of deschooling might be a good “fit” for your family: 

Burnout from traditional schooling 

Does your child seems drained, uninterested, or even resistant to learning—maybe homework battles have become the norm or motivation is a constant struggle? This could be your child’s way of saying, “I need a break from this pace.” 

A focus on grades over learning 

Before your family transitioned to homeschooling, did your family’s dinner table conversation revolve around test scores and report cards? Even if you’ve switched to homeschooling, do grades still play a heavy role? Do you or your kids struggle to feel like learning is happening unless the grades clearly reflect it? If the joy of learning has been overshadowed by performance metrics, deschooling can help shift the focus back to curiosity and growth. 

Anxiety or negative associations with school 

If you or your child feel anxious at the mention of “school”, it’s time to reframe what learning means. Deschooling provides the space to heal from negative experiences and build confidence in new approaches. 

Difficulty adjusting to homeschooling 

Have you jumped into homeschooling only to find it’s not working as planned? If you’re still replicating a traditional classroom at home—complete with rigid schedules and desks—it might be time to pause, do some more research, and deschool. 

Practical steps for embracing deschooling 

Deschooling sounds amazing, doesn’t it? But your mind might be racing with questions—How do I start? What comes first? What if I make a mistake? 

Take a deep breath. Relax. You’ve got this! 

Think of deschooling as setting out on a road trip. You don’t need every turn mapped out in advance—what matters is that you’re heading in the right direction. The beauty of this part of the journey is discovering that there’s no “wrong” way to do it. 

Deschooling is as unique as your family, but here are some practical ways to help make it a smooth ride:  

1. Take a breather 

Start by giving yourself permission to pause. Instead of jumping into curriculum planning, spend time as a family doing activities you love. Go for nature walks, bake cookies, read books for fun, or play board games. These moments of connection are one of the biggest blessings that you can embrace as a homeschooler. Your family will grow closer and your kids will learn more than you may think in this process! 

2. Redefine education 

Ask yourself and your children: What does education mean to us? Write down your family’s goals, values, and priorities. Maybe you want to focus on hands-on learning or emphasize life skills. Whatever it is, make it your own. 

3. Observe and listen 

Use this time to observe your child’s interests so that you can lean into them and make learning fun! Do they love to build with their hands? Are they constantly asking questions about the weather? Let their interests guide you. For example, a child who loves animals might enjoy a visit to a wildlife sanctuary or a documentary about ecosystems. The sky’s the limit! 

4. Detox from traditional mindsets 

Resist the urge to measure success by grades or test scores. Instead, celebrate milestones like your child mastering a new skill or showing enthusiasm for a subject they love. (Testing is not even required in some states! Use our legal map to see your state’s testing requirements). 

5. Find community 

Connect with other homeschool families or join local co-ops. Hearing others’ experiences can reassure you that there’s no “right” way to homeschool. Plus, it’s a great way for kids (and parents) to make friends. 

6. Set a flexible routine 

While you’re deschooling, embrace flexibility. This doesn’t have to mean chaos—a loose daily rhythm can help. For instance, mornings might include a walk or quiet reading time, while afternoons are reserved for creative play or exploring a new hobby. 

Examples of deschooling in action 

Here are a few scenarios to inspire you: 

  • For the Nature-Loving Family: Spend a week exploring local parks, identifying plants, or journaling about wildlife. Learning doesn’t always look like sitting at a desk! 
  • For the Bookworms: Visit the library and let each family member pick books that spark joy. No pressure to turn them into “lessons”—just enjoy reading together. 
  • For the Hands-On Learners: Dive into a project like building a birdhouse, baking bread, or crafting a family tree. These activities teach problem-solving, creativity, and practical skills. 
  • For Families with Teens: Allow them to pursue a passion project, like learning to code, writing a story, or creating a YouTube channel. This can reignite their excitement for learning. 

How long does deschooling take? 

Here’s the million-dollar question: How long should we deschool? The answer is, it depends. Some families spend a few weeks, while others might need several months. But remember—there’s no deadline or timeline. Deschooling is done when your family feels ready to embrace the new mindset of homeschooling fully. 

It’s okay to have questions 

As you embark on this journey, it’s natural to have lots of questions—and that’s a good thing! We’re here to be your tour guide, leading you through this uncharted territory with encouragement and a sense of adventure. To help ease your mind, we’ve compiled answers to some of the most frequently asked questions about homeschooling. 

Embrace the journey 

Deschooling is not a one-size-fits-all process, and that’s what makes it so beautiful. It’s an opportunity to reconnect as a family, rediscover the joy of learning, and lay the foundation for a homeschool culture that fits your unique family needs. So take a deep breath, trust the process, and enjoy the freedom to create something truly special. 

Ready to begin your deschooling journey? Let’s redefine education—together!