I'm not a fan of self-help books. My typical verbal review to those I have read sounds like this: "Should have been a blog post.... Should have been a podcast.... Should have been an article." I sometimes wonder if this is my response to the Over Information age, where any knowledge can be obtained and we are told we can change if we just do x, y, and/or z. 

So, I had an odd response to news that Jon Acuff had written a teen version of his book Soundtracks with his teenage daughters called Your New Playlist. I had read Soundtracks, walking away with one sound bite, but otherwise my typical lack of enthusiasm. So why did I want to read this book? 

Watching my youngest child enter her teen years this past winter, I realized how daunting it is to come of age in the crazy mess of a world we have right now. Growing up has always had challenges for every generation, but this group is entering their teens in a particularly tumultuous time.

Depending on who you listen to, Gen Z and Gen Alpha are bearing the brunt of the mental hardships imposed by COVID-19 lockdowns, cultural clashes, and political turmoil. As the parent of three Gen Z kids, I don't disagree with this synopsis, and even though we homeschool, these years have had an impact, particularly on the youngest. 

So, I bought the book. I never buy the book; our local library staff is on a first-name basis with my family members, and they pull our books off the "held" shelf before I even get to the check-out. But this one was worth purchasing.

I read it in a couple of days and gave it to my 13-year-old as part of her health class. She responded with typical teenage enthusiasm—"Really, Mom, do I have to read this?" She read the first six chapters on the first day and said appreciatively, "I didn't realize it was written by Gen Z kids." (That's enough for her to endorse it.) 

Since most of us need a little more than that to go on, here are some reasons why you should have your teens (and tweens) read this book. First, L.E. and McRae Acuff are as honest, funny, and helpful as their dad. They inhabit the world of today, a world which for me as a child of the 80s is sometimes a bit discombobulating to parent in. They are good guides to its challenges. These are the girls you want to mentor your teens, the kind of friends you pray your child will land as a college roommate. 

With guidance from their dad, they ask you to evaluate the voices in your head and ask: "Is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?" They remind us that fear and anxiety are natural to the human condition, but provide helpful ways to dial all that down, by dialing up the positive.  When the greater culture is telling our kids that they must believe what they feel at any given moment, the Acuffs proclaim that we can choose what we think. 

Throughout the book, I was struck by how much reading through the lens of teenage girls spoke to me. I encountered the same ideas from their dad with a lot of cynicism. But they reminded me that my mindset isn't just about me. It reverberates through my family.

In a section on family playlists, the Acuffs emphasize the importance of the family culture to the people we become. L.E. writes that on her family playlist is: "'We talk to each other the way we talk to others.' My mom has told me hundreds of times, 'If you wouldn't talk to your friends that way, don't talk to your sister that way.'"

As a mom, I was encouraged that these messages do get through to our children, and that the playlist we create for our family is important.

In the postscript, Jon Acuff signs off with “Six Things Parents Never Tell You.” I was reminded that it is ok to tell our kids that this is new for us, we didn’t have experience as parents before they arrived, and we sometimes make mistakes and get it wrong. I was humbled by the admission that “We would have made the same mistakes you’re making with your phone.”

Parenting today takes courage. As our kids come of age in this era, we can remind them they are exceptional. Like Dad Acuff, I can say to my three, “We make you do braver things than we do.” 

—Rachelle