Shortly into high school, I started hearing adults ask my son, “What do you plan to do after high school?” This is a common thing to ask teens, and I find myself questioning teens about their plans, while at the same time feeling bad about it. Being asked where you are headed in life can bring a lot of pressure.
My husband and I have spent time discussing the way we wanted to prepare our teenagers for life beyond the household. We put effort into preparing our son Ben to think about a vocation, how to live independently, and what his next steps needed to be.
He was passionate about telling stories visually, but it felt like an impossible career choice, because it was far outside the realm of vocations he had seen around him. So, we set out on a search for options to prepare him. For Ben, that meant finding colleges or trade schools that would help prepare him for a career in film and media production. Currently, he is in his junior year at Taylor University and is studying film and media. He’s never looked back.
But it isn’t always that easy. Our second child, Kyrie, is a high school senior this year and her journey has been less certain. Kyrie has varied interests that have taken us on some curvy roads. It’s hard to know what to point her toward. What should she study in college? Should she even go to college?
She is a hardworking talented goal setter, and she finds indecision frustrating and difficult. Despite assuring her that she’s not locked into any one thing and can change her mind, she has expended great amounts of time and energy into trying to find her path forward.
I was in similar shoes many years ago and someone wisely suggested I might want to read course descriptions in the catalogs of the colleges I was considering. What did I want to learn? What made me excited?
But reading course descriptions wasn’t as helpful to my daughter. With little idea of what she was interested in, it was difficult to figure out which colleges she might want to investigate. As she was going over brochures and websites, it occurred to me to suggest only considering a college if it had at least two majors that were of at least some interest to her. She found this helpful, and quickly whittled down colleges to a short, manageable list.
Next, I asked her to talk to people in fields that might interest her. She ended up asking two different people if she could shadow them at work. Both experiences allowed her to focus not only on what her strengths were, but also what work she found invigorating and interesting.
As I think about this process and our third child, I have some advice for myself.
- Ask questions about favorite subjects, interests, and vocations they find admirable. What tasks bring joy and a desire to get up in the morning? Where do these interests line up with what people value and where they can find work?
- Encourage them to question friends and family: What kind of work do they do? What do they love about their work? What are the things they don’t like about it? How did they decide on a career path? If they had to make the choice again, what would they do differently?
- Guide them to job shadows, camps, or career days. Often community colleges or libraries offer these things.
- Check out online resources, books, and assessments for determining interest and aptitude. What Color Is Your Parachute? is considered the gold standard, and there is a version for teens.
- Remind your son or daughter that most people do many jobs in their lifetime, and they can always change their minds.
Graduation is just around the corner for Kyrie. She decided that she wants to go to college and has her letters of acceptance. She is applying for scholarships and making comparisons.
Recently, I heard someone ask what she planned to do after high school. She displayed confidence in her response that would have been unimaginable a year ago. And I smiled.