Life Lessons on Leadership

I grew up in a home full of natural leaders. My father has founded and led multiple successful organizations, becoming a known figure across the country. Two of my older sisters founded smaller organizations, and my mother was a leader in church ministry for many years and often appears alongside my dad at special events. Throughout my life, it has been natural for me to see family members working in the spotlight.

I, on the other hand, have always felt more like a born follower than a born leader. I was generally a compliant child—not inclined to push the boundaries, desiring to do as I was told. From elementary age onward, I was very introverted, and while theater became a place where I could comfortably take the stage, I despised public speaking. Even teaching a Sunday school lesson to 4-year-olds was a terrifying prospect. How could I ever be a leader? I just didn't think I had it in me.

Over the years, even in situations where I took on a head role, I still had the underlying thought that leadership wasn't really my “thing.” Only very recently have I realized not only that I'm already a leader in certain areas, but that I've grown much more comfortable with leadership positions. Not that I ever expect to run for president or be the CEO of a large organization—that is still not (and will never be) my speed. But leaders of smaller arenas are always necessary. We need leaders in church ministries, camps, clubs, classrooms, sports teams, and most foundationally, in the home. While some of us may not be comfortable heading up large groups of people, I believe nearly every person is capable of leading in some area or another.

I have gradually come to realize that my introverted, Type B personality does not excuse me from leadership. I may not be a “born leader” like my dad and older sisters, but I am still capable of leading, especially in my areas of strength. One author and motivational speaker puts it this way:

“Habitual leaders” are the natural ones, who tend to be good at leading whatever group they are in. They feel natural taking charge and running point on just about any project. They lead out of habit.

“Situational leaders” are those people who make up the majority of the population. Most of them don’t even feel like leaders—until they find the right situation that fits their passions and their strengths. Once in the area of their strength, they come alive and become the right ones to lead in that particular situation.

So how does one become more comfortable being a leader? I think the simplest answer is by doing it. Here are some thoughts from my own experience as a homeschooled kid learning to lead.

Naturally, my earliest leadership experiences came with my position as an older sibling. When my older sisters moved out, I became the new “oldest” sibling of the 7 kids left in the house. I did plenty of babysitting (both for my family and others), but some of my more memorable experiences have come from composing skits for my siblings and me to perform. At the time, I would not have thought of these as opportunities for developing leadership skills, but they did help give me the confidence to carry these skills into larger arenas. I later became a drama (theater) director at two different churches, helping to write and direct full-length plays, and I currently teach a drama class at our homeschool co-op.

Another challenge for my leadership skills came in my mid-teens, when I joined a leadership training program at a summer camp. This involved 3 years of training to become a camp counselor, which I did shortly before finishing high school. This program taught me valuable lessons about organization and planning, but primarily it gave me the experience of leading, pushing me outside my comfort zone and teaching me to face some of my natural fears.

More recently, I coached two seasons of U15 rec league softball. I did not want to lead, but there was no one else willing to do it. I learned that while plenty of people want to have a leader, there are often not many people willing to be the leader. Sometimes all it takes is for you to be the one willing to stick your neck out there and take one for the team. Of course, there are some who are prone to do nothing but complain about the way things are run, but there are often many who are just glad that somebody is willing to take the lead instead of them!

Finally, through teaching a high school literature class at co-op, I have learned that even groups that seem especially intimidating may not be so bad after all. For whatever reason, teenagers have always scared me a bit. I was awkward and insecure as a teen, and I've felt in the past that I would never be cool enough for a leadership role with that age group. When the opportunity for this class arose, I had worked in leadership positions with both younger kids and adults, but never high schoolers. But wouldn't you know it? These teens are awesome, and teaching that class is now one of the highlights of my week.

I still find myself outside my natural comfort zone on a regular basis. I have many moments of tripping over my own tongue. I've had to learn that it's okay to make mistakes; everyone does it, even the world's greatest leaders. When I organize an event, I often internally panic a little at the thought that I am the one in charge, the one chiefly responsible if things go wrong. But while it is much easier for me to take a supporting role, somebody needs to be willing to carry the burden of leadership or nothing will ever be accomplished.