Homeschooling Held This Navy Family Together

It seemed that when we overcame one thing, another tragedy struck.

In 2019, Brandy and her husband, Caprice, were living in Japan when they first considered educational options for their youngest son. Caprice was serving his second tour of duty in Japan as a chief in the U.S. Navy when they went to register their son at the base Kindergarten. They were told they would need to wait another year to register him since his 5th birthday came after the fall deadline. But he had already spent two years in pre-school, and Brandy felt another year would not challenge him.

The turn toward homeschooling

“I have to be honest. I used to think, ‘Why would people homeschool their kids?’ It was weird, I just didn’t understand it,” she laughed.

But Brandy decided to take control of her son’s education. She remembers “going down the rabbit hole researching homeschooling” and was instantly hooked!

She loved the idea of structuring her child’s education to meet his needs and abilities, and the flexibility it provided to move at his pace. She learned about the many different homeschool methods—from unschooling to classical to traditional—but one thing stood out to her. No matter what methods people used, everybody had one thing in common. They all belonged to HSLDA, and she found helpful resources on the HSLDA website.

Finding flexibility

So, with Caprice on board, they dove into waters they’d never sailed before. Right away, their younger daughter (preschool age) wanted in on the action. Brandy set her up with her own little course of homeschooling and she quickly advanced, mastering the same materials as her brother. The following year they decided to bring their 7-year-old home from his school on base too, and they never looked back.

In July 2022, they returned to the states to serve in Norfolk, VA, and an unexpected mountain of bills began piling up. Pay advances were not in place before the transition, and the relocation fees typically paid out ahead of time had to come out of their own pocket. Their savings drained quickly.

Brandy feared that materials for homeschooling were going to be financially out of reach. Not wanting her kids to fall behind, she looked for discounts and a way to pay for materials. She knew that, as an HSLDA member, she might be eligible for a Compassion Curriculum Grant, so she applied and was quickly awarded funds to continue homeschooling.

Meanwhile they made every effort to regain their financial footing. They worked the whole year to get back on track, but Brandy shared, “It seemed that when we overcame one thing, another tragedy struck.”

Help when it was needed most

In early 2023, Caprice’s mother passed away. Caprice was deployed at the time. The expense of flying him from his ship to Virginia and the family’s travel costs to Illinois for the funeral took every cent of their paycheck. To make things more stressful, they had to cover his mother’s funeral with their credit cards. Their financial situation was not turning around as they had hoped.

By the spring of 2023, Caprice prepared for a long deployment. More funds were needed to send him off, and Brandy knew the money for fall school materials would once again be out of reach. Hoping HSLDA Compassion would understand their circumstances, she applied for another curriculum grant.

On her application, Brandy asked for prayer for Caprice, his shipmates, and the captain.

The deployment would be long, and she was worried about his physical and emotional health. He’d faced so much the past few months—from grieving the loss of his mother, tending to her belongings, and paying her final rent. They were in a difficult season and she knew it weighed heavily on him.

And shortly before he left, he’d been playing baseball with his sons and injured his knee. He was still in pain when he left on deployment. Brandy thought he should remain home, but she knew there was no way he would stay. “When duty called, he answered,” she said. “That’s the way he was and that’s how it is in the military.”

So, he pushed off in March and Brandy pressed on at home.

A tragedy at sea

The first week of June brought the anticipation of summer fun, and living close to the beach was always a perk. Brandy and the kids had just finished schoolwork for the day when they heard a knock at the door. Her son answered and a man’s voice asked, “Is your mom home?”

A few moments later, Brandy stood in stunned silence as Navy sailors in dress whites told her that Caprice had collapsed and died.

“It was horrible, like out of a movie,” Brandy shared. “My kids heard the news from the doorway and my youngest son shut down.”

They were not yet at liberty to tell her what happened or where Caprice’s body was being held. For two desperate days, she waited in anguish. Finally, they released information that Caprice’s ship had been traveling across the Arctic Circle, and the men aboard were participating in the esteemed Blue Nose ceremony.

This Naval tradition is a test of endurance while sailing through the extreme cold of the Arctic Circle. Tasks include tests of strength in unforgiving conditions, such as carrying heavy weight or dunking in frigid waters. It also includes fun activities like obstacle courses and painting their noses blue. It ends jovially with a bucket of icy water poured over the sailors’ heads.

Afterwards, they spend time in warm tents with blankets and hot chocolate to help raise their body temperatures. It is meant to test endurance, build camaraderie and boost morale. Sailors receive the coveted Blue Nose Certificate, which serves as a badge of honor.

What would have been a milestone in Caprice’s Naval career ended in tragedy when they were not able to raise his internal body temperature back to normal. Caprice suffered a heart attack and passed away on board his ship, the USS Ramage. He died having earned many medals, including a Global War on Terrorism Expeditionary Medal and a Meritorious Unit Commendation for exceptional performance.

If a badge of honor exists for surviving the harsh conditions of grief, loss, and the ability to pick up the pieces and move forward with hope, Brandy has certainly earned her own.

Picking up the pieces

Brandy recognized early on in their marriage that she and Caprice were a good fit. He was a problem solver who knew how to execute. She was the planner and organizer. Together they got things done. His loss left a huge hole, and she would now carry all the responsibilities they once shared as a team.

“I think you’re a lot stronger than what you give yourself credit for,” Brandy replied when asked if she had any thoughts for other widows. “God will help you. You have to keep yourself rooted and keep things as normal as possible for the kids. And don’t forget about yourself. Find something to focus on. You won’t forget your husband, but you have to go on. Keep a positive point of view.”

She relies on her faith in God and asks herself sometimes, what would my husband do? “Things don’t always go as planned, but I think my husband would be so proud of me.”

Building a new normal

Today her children are very active in their homeschool co-op and enjoy playing sports, participating in children’s ministry at their church, and taking lessons in swimming, dancing, and gymnastics.