Frightened and Fed Up: Child with Autism Escapes System That Was Failing Her

When Carmen enrolled her daughter, Victoria (names changed to protect privacy), in her first year of public school in Virginia, she never thought they would be homeschooling a year later. 

Victoria, now 6, was diagnosed with autism and obsessive-compulsive disorder at a young age. She also has speech challenges stemming from being born prematurely, at just 24 weeks.

Despite these struggles, Carmen always believed in her daughter’s potential. She trusted that the school system would offer support and understanding as Victoria began her educational journey. Instead, they found judgment, rejection, and stress.

Month after month, the school seemed increasingly unwilling to accommodate Victoria's learning challenges.

“Based on the families who come to us for help, children with special needs—or who are just ‘different’—may be the most mistreated public school students,” HSLDA Senior Counsel Scott Woodruff said.

“Public school was a nightmare for us,” Carmen said. “We were told they could help accommodate my daughter’s needs, but she was mistreated constantly.”

One time during winter, school staff sent Victoria outside barefoot at dismissal time, because she didn’t want to put her shoes on. “They made her walk across the cold sidewalk without shoes. There’s a drive-through where parents wait, and they told me they ‘couldn’t’ bring her to the car.”

Carmen would wait up to 20 minutes for her scheduled meetings with the assistant principal. One day, while discussing Victoria’s behavior, Carmen said the assistant principal even made a face of disgust.

“I don’t know if they’re used to treating all people poorly,” Carmen said. “But I just felt judged all the time.”

More and more stress

Eventually, school officials told Carmen that Victoria would be moved to a specialized program in another school. This school was supposed to be a place where children with autism could thrive. But things only got worse.

Victoria came home with visible injuries—scratches on her back and neck, and once a large bruise. Carmen raised concerns, but the teachers dismissed them. “They said it was ‘a one-time thing.’ But it kept happening.”

The stress took a toll. Victoria cried every morning before school. “Please, mommy, please,” she’d beg. “I don’t want to go to school.” Carmen herself stopped eating and sleeping. She experienced stress she had never felt before. “My stomach would hurt just from driving my daughter to school.”

Carmen suffered from a panic attack in June. She believes the accumulated stress from last year triggered it.

A weight off her shoulders

Then, one day, Carmen came across a video of a homeschooling mom explaining that homeschooling was possible. She also recommended joining HSLDA for legal help. 

Desperate for change, Carmen reached out.

She became an HSLDA member immediately and was connected to our Spanish-speaking legal assistant, Yalitza Vesco. Yalitza walked Carmen through the steps to legally withdraw Victoria from school. She also instructed her to fill out a letter of withdrawal—drafted by our attorneys—to submit to the school.

A couple of days later, Carmen received a call from the school’s social worker, saying Carmen had to fill out the school’s own withdrawal form and bring it to the school in person.

Carmen notified our legal team, and Woodruff called the social worker on Carmen’s behalf. The social worker insisted that Carmen had to fill out the form, but Woodruff informed her that it was not required by law. The social worker conceded and never contacted Carmen again.

“HSLDA lifted a weight off my shoulders,” Carmen said.

Potential in full bloom

Now, just a few weeks into their new homeschool routine, Carmen sees Victoria living a whole new life.

She’s smiling and laughing. She plays and paints. She reads alphabet books and memorizes the flags of different countries. She can identify all 50 United States by name. And, most importantly, she’s not crying anymore.