From the HSLDA E-lert Service:


1/7/2010 11:50:02 AM
Home School Legal Defense Association
HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru High School Newsletter -- January 2010

HSLDA's Homeschooling Thru High School Newsletter
January 2010--Resources for Raising Teens

---[ New High School 4-Year Planner ]---------------------------------

From the publishers of the popular Well-Planned Day, the Well-Guided
High Schooler is a 4-year dated high school planner and guidance
counselor in one convenient book.


Dear Friends,

Happy New Year! We pray the Lord's blessings on your family as we head
into 2010. Fresh beginnings always offer new inspiration and
motivation. We hope you are in that frame of mind.

If we asked you to evaluate your relationship with your homeschooled
teen, would you smile or frown? Regardless of your reaction to that
question, the majority of parents are very interested in improving
their relationships with their teens. Homeschool parents in particular
know that the close encounters homeschooling provides on a daily basis
can either be a source of encouragement or cause for prayers of
supplication. If you would like to take some time at the beginning of
this year to equip yourselves as parents to better train and interact
with your teen, we'd like to offer some suggestions for parenting

Please know that we do not intend to be a substitute for your
individual pastor's oversight or instruction. The titles mentioned
below are merely recommendations--your pastor will undoubtedly be able
to suggest additional good selections.

Parenting with a Purpose

No matter your current interaction with your teens, parents can always
grow in parenting skills. Understanding the changes in your teens'
physical, mental, and emotional areas will enable you to direct,
train, and equip them for life. When both parents are on board and
there is unity of spirit regarding training and disciplining issues,
your teen will be less desirous of trying to divide and conquer your
authority. If this is not the case, pray for harmony and peace in the
home and a coming together of the minds. Homeschooling can place
strains on a marriage. Michael Farris and Reed Elam in their book, A
Sacred Foundation, give helpful
insights on alleviating these strains.

Additional helpful parenting resources listed on our website
( include:

> Farris, Michael. The Home Schooling Father: How You Can Play a
Decisive Role in Your Child's Success

> MacArthur, John. What the Bible Says About Parenting

> Priolo, Lou. Teach them Diligently: How to Use the Scriptures in
Child Training

> Tripp, Paul David. Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting
Teens with Study Guide

> Tripp, Paul David. Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands: People in
Need of Changing Helping People in Need of Changing

> Tripp, Ted. Shepherding a Child's Heart (for younger children but
still applicable to teens)

Communication is Key

Have you realized that conflict will be inevitable? Conflict is
usually seen as negative, but when it is worked out in a biblical way,
it leads to change and growth. Don't ever lose hope or give up on your
teens. Tell them time and time again that you love them, you are for
them, and that with the Lord's help you desire to raise them to the
glory of God.

Communication by its very definition is a two-way process. If your
teen refuses to communicate despite your many repeated attempts,
please don't despair! The Lord can open doors that you cannot. Cry out
to the Lord for His help in this area and trust in the comfort of
Psalm 40:1: ".I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and
heard my cry." Continue to earnestly seek an interactive relationship
with your teen and leave the results in the Lord's hands. If you are
brokenhearted, the Lord is near to you. If your teen is running in the
opposite direction from you and the Lord, the Lord is a great pursuer
and the Hound of Heaven (according to C.S. Lewis)!

Some suggested resources for building relationships with teens:

> Mahaney, Carolyn. "Building a Strong Mother-Daughter Friendship"

> Mahaney, Carolyn and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre. Girl Talk:
Mother-daughter Conversations On Biblical Womanhood

> Priolo, Lou. The Heart of Anger

> Sande, Ken. Peacemaking for Families: A Biblical Guide to Managing
Conflict in Your Home

> Tripp, Paul David. War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your
Communication Struggles

Questions are good!

The teen years are exciting times as your child matures and grows.
You'll be amazed at the questions that will come up in the midst of
teaching academics that provide a platform for helping your teen sort
out his or her values. You may have already encountered some of these
questions: How do I know that God really exists when plenty of people
don't believe that He does? What's embryonic cell research and is it a
good idea? What's the theme of The Scarlet Letter and what personal
relevance does it have?

It is of the utmost importance that your teens understand that your
home provides a safe place to wrestle with and sort out their
questions--especially those of a spiritual dimension. Many times
parents are thrown off guard when teens struggle with certain aspects
of the faith; and some parents may respond with anger, fear, or
remorse. Be encouraged that your calm and reasoned responses to your
teens' questions will have the most likely chance of being received
with respect. Don't panic when questions come up--but seek the Lord's
wisdom and pray for your teens to be open to the Holy Spirit's
involvement as they think about their personal convictions.

Resources for your teen to read that will encourage his personal faith

> Brooks, Ron & Norman Geisler. When Skeptics Ask--A Handbook of
Christian Evidence

> Karl, Graustein and Mark Jacobsen. Growing Up Christian: Have You
Taken Ownership of Your Relationship With God?

> Keller, Timothy. The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism

> Lewis, C. S. Mere Christianity

> Little, Paul. Know What You Believe and Know Why You Believe

> Mahaney, CJ. The Cross-Centered Life

> Stott, John. Basic Christianity

> Stott, John. You Can Trust the Bible

> Whitney, Donald. Spiritual Disciplines of the Christian Life

Preparation for Life

As homeschooling parents, you have a tremendous opportunity to use
your homeschooling days to prepare your teen for his future endeavors.
As part of that preparation, think about incorporating a worldview or
apologetics course into his high school plan. These courses and
resources give your teen opportunities for practical application of
the truths that you are teaching. Being prepared is half the battle
when your teen encounters those in the workplace or college that
adhere to different values.

Worldview and apologetics resources:

> Noebel, David. Understanding the Times

> Noebel, David & Chuck Edwards. Thinking Like a Christian: Worldviews
in Focus Series

> Sire, James. Universe Next Door

> Wile, Jay. Reasonable Faith: the Scientific Case for Christianity

Good reading for teens heading off to college:

> Budziszewski, J. How to Stay Christian in College (An Interactive
Guide to Keeping the Faith)

> McFarland, Alex. Stand Strong in College

Relationships with the Opposite Sex

One of the aspects of training that you probably encountered even
before your children reached the teen years was the topic of how to
relate to the opposite sex. Although there are different thoughts on
what is or is not appropriate in terms of relationships during the
teen years, it is beneficial as parents to stay directly involved in
the friendships that your teens are forming. The majority of the
resources listed below focus on a courtship style of relating to the
opposite sex. Other resources may be found, however, that provide
alternative or additional ways to view teen relationships. Ask the
Lord for His insight and leadership as you tackle this area. The Word
of God is a great place to begin to develop your family's parameters
regarding relationships.

> Elliot, Elisabeth. Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love
Life Under Christ's Control

> Farris, Michael. What A Daughter Needs From Her Dad: How a Man
Prepares His Daughter for Life

> Harris, Joshua. I Kissed Dating Goodbye, A New Attitude Towards
Romance and Relationships

> Harris, Joshua. Boy Meets Girl

> Jones, Debby and Jackie Kendall. Lady in Waiting: Becoming God's
Best While Waiting for Mr. Right, Expanded Edition

> Paulsen, Heather. Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart

A Final Word

During the teen years, you may find that the old adage, "you can lead
a horse to water, but you can't make him drink," takes on a new
perspective. Parents can train, discipline, encourage, and reason with
teens, but each individual teen will make choices that reflect his or
her heart attitude. For those of you with spiritually mature teens who
are eager to continue growing, parenting may be a sweet endeavor. But
for those of you with children who you lead to water and yet they
refuse to drink, please take heart. Pray with a heart that believes
in a God who is able to change hearts. If you need encouragement in
this area, see "Homeschooling to Prevent Rebellion" by Barbara Frank. Don't be
fooled by the title. The article acknowledges that homeschooling is
not a foolproof way to prevent teen rebellion, but it can be used by
the Lord as a means of grace to steer your teen in the right direction
while leaving the results to Him.

If your teen is currently not interested or is hostile to following
the Lord, another resource to encourage you is Carol Barnier's recent
HSLDA webinar, "A Prodigal Speaks." Carol is currently a homeschool
mom and speaker; but she, too, was a prodigal who lived as an atheist
for a number of years. She shares helpful insights that include loving
and interacting with a prodigal child of her own. Carol discusses the
false myths of parenting including: perfect parenting produces perfect
children, children raised in a church will never depart, your child is
deliberately trying to hurt you, and if you make parenting mistakes
your child is doomed. You'll find hope and help--not
condemnation--from the wisdom that she shares.

From our personal experience, parenting teens was both a joy and a
trial that kept us on our knees! Each day is a new opportunity for you
to trust in the Lord's help as you grow in your parenting skills. God
promises that "when you bow down before the Lord and admit your
dependence on Him, He will lift you up and give you honor." James 4:10

Join us next month as we discuss how to create your teen's high school

Until then, we pray that during the month of January your strength is
renewed and your joy is full,

Becky Cooke and Diane Kummer
HSLDA High School Coordinators

"A good education is the next best thing to a pushy mother." Charles
M. Schulz

Diane & Becky's upcoming speaking engagements:

Capital Baptist Church Homeschool Co-Op, Annandale, VA (Becky)
February 18, 2010; March 18, 2010

HSLDA Third Annual High School Symposium (Becky & Diane)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Details forthcoming--Mark your calendars now!

Christian Family Schools of San Diego, CA (Diane)
May 7-8, 2010

Network of Iowa Christian Home Educators, Des Moines, IA (Diane)
June 18-19, 2010

Valley Home Educators--Modesto, CA (Becky)
July 30-31, 2010

-> Is customer service an art or a science?

For us, good customer service is both an art and a science
-it should appeal to our members and be effective. Consider what
our members say about us:

We're thankful for the support HSLDA membership provides us. We'd
never homeschool without them. We highly recommend HSLDA to all
homeschoolers. - North Tonawanda, NY

I cannot imagine our homeschool journey without HSLDA's strong
leadership, protection, and guidance. God bless HSLDA!
- Alta Loma, California

More reasons to join HSLDA...

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